World Food Thursdays

Country No. 3: Russia

 

Date: 11/02/2014

 

Venue: Erebuni, Barbican

 

Attendees: Lee, Kimberley, Ben, Ellen, Maor, Poppy

 

Cost: £32 a head

 

If we’d have arrived at Erebuni with waning enthusiasm I think we would have been forgiven given that the random nature of the draw managed to select another Eastern Bloc country as culinary pit-stop number three however as always, sceptics aside, the child-like joy of Lee and Maor at simply being let out of the asylum for the day blew away any doubts that other members might have had about our second stab at Eastern European fare.

 

Having said that once we had rather dismissively decided that all former Soviet Union countries would eat the same food the conversation swiftly moved to propose an amendment to the rules allowing each participant the power of veto (once a year, or once over the entirety of the gastronomic mission ~ a trifling 16 years) to ensure that we didn’t have to find new stewed/ steamed delicacies every other month.

 

The venue itself was certainly more bar than restaurant, with moody lighting and lots of red and a giant bar. One wall was given over to a massive screen showing plasticky Russians singing on some kind of talent show, but the waiters were friendly and accommodating so sneaky glances towards the exit were kept to a minimum.

 

It didn’t take long for the very friendly owner of the place to come over and offer us a warm and generous hello in the form of a vodka shot, cranberry flavoured for the ladies, straight for the men. Taking our lead from our happy host we downed the shot and to our surprise experienced none of the burning agony normally associated with vodka shots in the UK.

 

I don’t know if it was the vodka or the coaxing from Lee and Maor but we really went to town with our ordering choosing marinated tomatoes, both types of Yaitsa Farshironvaniye (hard boiled eggs with the yolk removed, mixed with secret ingredients, replaced and then topped with either red or black caviar), Olivye (or salad to the Russians, Russian salad to the rest of us), Chebureki (lamb patties), Erebuny (cheese filled steamed dumplings) and Pork Siberian Pelmeny (smaller pork filled steamed dumplings) and that was just the starters! Even the waiter looked bemused.

 

The starters arrived along with a beer each for Lee and Ben, who narrowly avoided gravely insulting the (probably) Armenian waiter at the last minute by switching from a Russian beer to an Armenian variety.

The starters went down very well, the Russian salad and the lamb patties being resounding favourites. It was at this stage that the rumours about Poppy’s lapse from strict vegetarianism were confirmed, she didn’t hold back and dived straight into the meaty starters.

 

The cheese dumplings were sweet and more suited to dessert but that didn’t stop us polishing off every last morsel.

 

Still on a high from the resounding success of the starters and reeling from the hilarity of Soviet-era Russian jokes (supplied by Lee – from his Russian history shelf) we waited with baited breath for the mains and they certainly didn’t disappoint. All diners decided that a share scheme would be the best way forward and the dishes were fought over in almost equal measure. Thanks go to Maor for convincing Ellen to switch from the Russian Golubtsy (a sort of cannelloni but with cabbage leaves instead of pasta, also ordered by Lee) to Kartoshla (fried potatoes). The lucky guests could also choose from a very very garlicky Chicken Tabaka, a Plov (lamb pilaf), Chanakhy (a lamb stew) and Khashlama (lamb chops stewed in beer).

 

Ben and Lee indulged in another couple of vodka shots with the gregarious proprietor, the hunters vodka was nicely spiced, almost almondy in flavour, the less said about the pepper vodka the better, and soon the night was over and 6 diners retreated happily into the night.

 

Russian Facts (and a ‘joke’):

 

• There are 1m Russians in Israel, forming almost 15% of the total population (and explaining why Maor is such an expert)

• Important historical Russian figures have a history of not being Russian; Russia as we know it today was established by Rurik in 862, he was from Kiev; Stalin was from Georgia.

• A Rabkrin inspector asks a factory worker, “What do you do here?” "Nothing." The inspector asks the next worker the same question. His response is also “Nothing”. When the inspector files his report his recommendation is as follows: “The second worker may be released for unnecessary duplication.